Fortune Cookie and a RAK...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 at 09:51AM I'm probably weird, but I tend to keep the fortunes out of fortune cookies. I have a nice little stash of them. I don't know why. I even made a little tin to keep them in...really. So. I was gathering up a few off my desk to put into the tin last night and came across one that said this:
"The cure for grief is motion."
Dude. That's so true and so me. I *do* tend to deal with grief by doing...by filling my time with things on my to do list. That's pretty much what I've been doing since I returned home from Washington after my dad died last month. I'm finally reaching a point, though, where I'm not "behind" so much any more and can start looking at the things on my to do list that I simply want to do. One of them is making a memorial album about my dad. I want to make one that I can make copies of for my brothers, sisters and mom. I want to include lots of photos but also journaling of stories and anecdotes and the like. My question, for you, then, is this...from whose perspective do I write? If it were just for me, I'd probably make the album in my voice as if talking to my boys...after all, it's a story I want/need to tell them. But, what do you think about it if I'm making them for my siblings and mom? (Yo. Mom and siblings...if you have an opinion, chime in!)
So, pretty please post me a comment here or email me and let me know what you think! I'd also LOVE any suggestions, reminders, or ideas on what to remember to include in memorial albums in general.
Because I've also happened to be in a purging mood of late (seriously, I managed to weed out boxes of toys from the boys' stuff and heaps of scrap stuff and I'm actually wanting to do the basement storage area also, LOL), I'm offering up a dandy RAK (haven't decided precisely what it will be, but it'll be cool)! On Friday, I'll pull a name from those who post or email.
(Please note, you'll either need to let me know your email address up front (like in the comment or by emailing me) or be sure to check back here this weekend to know if you won. My comments section doesn't track email addresses or anything so I have no way of getting back in touch with you unless you tell me. :) Thanks!)
Reader Comments (30)
hi Amanda...i plan on doing a similar album about my Dad, and will probably be using the 'He...' format. just journaling in the third-person, that way it's easy to make one for my Mom and brother =)
I'm very sorry for the lose of your father and I hope that this memorial album well help a great deal in your healing. Stay strong and here is my tip for you album
Save a few pages designated specificaly for your dad's hobbies. What did he like to do? Is there something that he especially loved? Example: My dad is a huge history buff and is also into hunting, a huge contrast I know. So maybe this is a good thing you could incoporate into your album; contrasting hobbies. What hobbies or interests did you or other members of the family (especially your children) share with him. What did they like to do together? I think this would make a very special part of your album and help you remember more of him and who he was inside and what and who he loved. Good luck and God bless. :D
Jeanette Griebel(CKMB)
P.S. If needed please PM me instead of emailing because I might not get your email since my settings are set on exclusive to reduce junk email ;) Thanks and have a great scrappin' day :).
How about a page with a nice picture of him and a bullet checklist of all the things he was (humorous, serious, playful, etc.)
You could bullet point the list with little man-colored flowers or brads in shapes of things he liked (if he liked fishing, find fish brads)
I', sorry to hear about your dad. Your family will be in my thoughts.
What a great idea. I think I'd write it in the third person.
i love this idea.
i think i would probably do it from the perspective of you and your siblings...
one thing i would do is have each of your siblings and your mom write down a favorite memory...or several even.
also any funny/meaningful stories you can remember your dad telling.
i'm sure this will be treasured for generations.
xx
jill
jillrscripps@msn.com
I'm sorry about your dad. That must be so tough.
I would do it from your point of view,maybe some of those little things you remember about him or something you shared with him- those little everyday moments that kind of just pop up now and again.
It would be great if your siblings,mom and anyone else who would want to contribute their memories as well.(your kids could even draw a picture to put in there) I think its a wonderful idea, and maybe you can sit as a family and read it - remembering your dad together. :)
Take Care,
Angie
smittyangie@yahoo.com
I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard to know how to journaal about someones life. Especially those you are close to and love.I made an album about my stepdaughter after she passed away from cystic fibrosis. I wanted my children to remember her and know who she was. I think you could do your journaling in the voice you feel comfortable with. Since you are creating the album you could take the journaling like this, "Mom says that dad was always loving and kind towards others." I think your siblings would appreciate that and your kids will know you made the album especially if you put a made by in the front of the album. If you are not comfortable doing that you could always change the journaling to match up with who the album is intended for. More work for you but just by changing pronouns etc. it might be doable.
I have not created a memorial album, but have completed a few pages here and there when someone near to my heart dies or when I am reminded about some person from my past and how God used him or her in my life. On these pages, I try to give a short bio on him or her, how I feel about the person and why, special attributes, silly stories, quotes, pics (of course), memoribilia from favorite places (For example, my grandmother loved to take me bowling at a local alley near the house, so I asked the attendant for a blank score sheet and some other items.) and/or interview others about him or her (sometimes my perspective is very limited). I, too, think it would be neat to write your journaling in third person. Perhaps, include a letter addressing each of the viewers stating why the album is important to you.
Hi Amanda ~ I'm so sorry you lost your Daddy. Mine passed away 14 years ago and, my dear, it never gets easier. I admire that you're doing an album already as I've been too afraid to - all the emotions and tears it will bring. I think this will be good for your grieving process and you'll be glad you did it (as will your family). Agree with third-person journaling; it seems the only way to 'speak' to everyone who will read it. My one idea for the album would be to write a letter from you directly to your dad, and have each family member do that also. Like, Dear Dad/Husband/Uncle, You were so special to me because..., I remember how we always..., the things you taught me were..., etc. Perhaps it couldn't be super-personal since so many will read it, but I think those letters would have such impact and be cherished forever. Good luck with your album and I look forward to seeing the pages on your blog, if you feel comfortable sharing them. Prayers to you :)
I would maybe leave spots in there albums for them to write there own stories. But you could also just talk to them and see what stories are important to them and try to write from there prespective to make sure they will always have those memories that are special to them.
I'm so sorry about your dad. A memorial album will be such a treasure now and in the future. I think I would add journaling from your perspective and in third person. If your mom and siblings would be up to it I think it would be nice to take a lo of a family event and have each person write their own journalling on it without seeing the others first and then compare them and add them all to the album. Kinda like getting everyone's view of the event--and their special memories of your dad. It's amazing how each of your memories will be different yet special!
Amanda, I'm so sorry about your loss and know the pain of losing parents. I lost a brother years ago, but made a 2 page LO a year to two ago and I used a poem that my DS had written when his Uncle Bill died. I wrote about my brother, your uncle Bill because it was for my DS & DD, but if I were giving this LO to my siblings, I would write about "our brother Bill."
I talked about how he was the first sibling out of 8 of us to die and what it meant to me. I had lots of pictures of family events and the family "celebration of his life/party" that was held at his house. I also put pictures of my oldest brother scattering the ashes. I love this 2 page LO and am very proud to have made it. I am sure you will feel the same about your dad's album. Please take care.
First let me start by saying how sorry I am to hear of your loss. Daddy's are special people in a girls life. I think the way I would tackle it is to write a small introduction to the book...This book is about______________ but I will refer to him as Dad (father/ daddy pops- however you usually called him) from here on out in the book as that's who he was to me in title. He was a father, a husband, a friend, a Grandfather a brother (etc) but to me he was simply Dad. It is my hope in making this book that I am able to share with you a small part of what made him the man he was,he was loved by many and will be greatly missed ...my Dad ___________________. (DOB if you wish to include it)
That's how I would probably go about it, but you will, in the end, find a way that you are most comfortable with. May your creative journey bring you peace and remind you of all your happy memories with him.
Hugs Dolly
Hi Amanda im so sorry to hear about your dad. I would personally do it from your prospective....and then when u do it for your mom and brother i would leave a blank spot just for them. Yours could tuck away behind a photo when you give it to your bro and mom (that way they have your perspective on it). I like it because thats your childrens grandpa and they need to know...and having it as if you were speaking to them is even more special.
Or you could ask for their input too...ask them about a paticular photo and jot down their memories and add it...that way you have all perspectives covered.
I am ss about your loss...i hope what ever you do with this Memorial Book for your Dad will be great!
So, sorry to hear about your father. Mine passed away when I was ten. I did an album about my father and mother. One thing I treasure is having my mother fill out a questionnaire about she and my dad when they first met and were dating. I also talked to other family members and found out who his friends were in high school, where he like to hang out with his friends, how nervous he was when he met my mom. These are things if you don't get down on paper now they will be lost forever. I also did the questionnaire on my aunts and uncles. I found out so much about them I never knew. Although I know you are wanting to preserve your memories as a family, don't forget the things about his youth and young adulthood that shaped him into the man you knew. I wish you all the best on your project.
Thanks,
Trina Curtis (Taxladyscrapper CKMB)
I'm so sorry for your loss.
You could always do a few pages that have a few different family member's journaling in pockets or something and have each persons view of what had happened or how they felt.
You can do some that say what kind of person your dad was and describing him or telling a memorable moment that each of you had with him and journal it as if you were talking to him. That way each of you can have a page about your best times with him and you can share it with the rest of the family.
You can do journaling as if you were telling a story.
HTH!!!
First of all, I love this idea! You will be able to share so many memories and tears with your family as you go through the process of creating this wonderful album. The memories you record will always be accompanied by the memories you create while recording them. That is one of the blessings of scrapbooking. I like the idea of writing from your own personal point of view, even if you are giving these albums to other family members. I think, in particular, your Mother will probably appreciate reading her daughter's voice speaking about her father on each and every page. I know my mother would love that. As far as content goes, it seems like you have been given, and already come up with, lots of great ideas, but the one thing that I want to highlight is his handwriting. Find bits and pieces, whether it be from old birthday cards, letters to your mom from when they were young, or even the to-do list that he made for the weekend that got shoved into the junk drawer...actually...especially the to-do list or a grocery list or something with his everyday handwriting. In our age of so much technology I think we all need to recognize the art that every person is capable of - handwriting. It brings back so many memories and stirs warm, comforting thoughts as we remember our loved ones. So please, gather some of his handwriting and preserve it. That is the art left by your father and should be cherished.
Hi Amanda,
I'm so sorry you lost your father. I think making an album would be a great healing process. Not only for you but for your siblings as well.
If you could include your siblings memories in the album as well as your own, it would be a precious keepsake for all. You could have each sibling fill out a form of questions that you would like answered, you would end up with a lot of material to choose from. For example, one of the questions could be "What was your very first memory of dad," or "what was your best time with dad." Things like that. Each persons response will be different, special and personal to them. You all will learn things about your father that you didn't know.
I think that would be better than just from your perspective. You could save that for your own personal page.
Make some extra albums for your kids. They are so little, they're not going to remember much.
My kids never got to know my MIL, she passed away a year after we were married. This is actually inspiring me to make an album about her. What a wonderful gift for my dh and his brother and sister, and the grandchildren. They could learn things about their grandmother.
Thanks, and best wishes,
Chris Hertel
aka Chrispea
So sorry for your loss Amanda.
If your siblings will particiapate you could send them a list of question like, The funniest thing my Dad ever did was?, My Dad always told me.., The worst punishement I ever recieved, My most favorite vaction with my Dad was, you get the idea. Your Mother could also write a list like, Why I loved theis man and things he did to anoy me. She could also write their story...when they first met, first date, how long they dated before marriage. If your family won't fill out the questionaires or write about it maybe you could snick it in a conversation or interview.LOL I just think it would be so meaningful for future generations if everyone in the family participated.
Thanks for putting this out there, it got me thinking of album I have been putting off doing.
Carla Tarrou
Amanda,
I'd make your personal album in your voice and maybe do the others in 3rd person. I have a memorial album to do, too - I'll have to tell you about that one privately - and I'm not sure how to proceed with it either (and it's been almost 3 years). I'm sure that whatever you do, your mom and sibs will absolutely love and cherish it. Talk to you soon!
Blessings-
Marti