Fortune Cookie and a RAK...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 at 09:51AM I'm probably weird, but I tend to keep the fortunes out of fortune cookies. I have a nice little stash of them. I don't know why. I even made a little tin to keep them in...really. So. I was gathering up a few off my desk to put into the tin last night and came across one that said this:
"The cure for grief is motion."
Dude. That's so true and so me. I *do* tend to deal with grief by doing...by filling my time with things on my to do list. That's pretty much what I've been doing since I returned home from Washington after my dad died last month. I'm finally reaching a point, though, where I'm not "behind" so much any more and can start looking at the things on my to do list that I simply want to do. One of them is making a memorial album about my dad. I want to make one that I can make copies of for my brothers, sisters and mom. I want to include lots of photos but also journaling of stories and anecdotes and the like. My question, for you, then, is this...from whose perspective do I write? If it were just for me, I'd probably make the album in my voice as if talking to my boys...after all, it's a story I want/need to tell them. But, what do you think about it if I'm making them for my siblings and mom? (Yo. Mom and siblings...if you have an opinion, chime in!)
So, pretty please post me a comment here or email me and let me know what you think! I'd also LOVE any suggestions, reminders, or ideas on what to remember to include in memorial albums in general.
Because I've also happened to be in a purging mood of late (seriously, I managed to weed out boxes of toys from the boys' stuff and heaps of scrap stuff and I'm actually wanting to do the basement storage area also, LOL), I'm offering up a dandy RAK (haven't decided precisely what it will be, but it'll be cool)! On Friday, I'll pull a name from those who post or email.
(Please note, you'll either need to let me know your email address up front (like in the comment or by emailing me) or be sure to check back here this weekend to know if you won. My comments section doesn't track email addresses or anything so I have no way of getting back in touch with you unless you tell me. :) Thanks!)
Reader Comments (30)
Amanda:
I would like to hear you speak in the first person - like you were talking to your sons. They will hear you telling them about Papa from your direct association with him and the special times you had together growing up and after your marriage. If it is possible, I think it would be great to include personal experiences/testimonies from your Mom and your siblings too (first or third, depending on whether they would write something or just recount it to you). While you can gather a lot of facts about your Dad's life and accomplishments, it is most important that you reveal the incredibly wonderful man he was and his impact on your life and that of countless others: the heritage of his faith lived, the legacy he imparted, the service and dedication he demonstrated, the love so beautifully portrayed.
One final thought: there is no publishing deadline for this - it does not need to be "done" in time for Christmas. In fact it may always be a work in progress as memories surface and ideas form.
May you find this process enriching, rewarding, therapeutic and spiritual as you explore the life of a truly great man, husband, father, grandfather and friend.
Love and peace,
John
I am so sorry for your loss. I am still so lucky that I have my parents so I don't know how you are feeling. The memorial album sounds so lovely and I do think that writing it in your voice is a great idea. I think it would be theraputic and healing for you to put your thoughts and emotions down on paper. Little notes from your mother and siblings would also be good to add to pages that involve them.
Hi Amanda,
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad.
I would personally write it from your own view, and then if your siblings or mom feel that they can contribute stories/memories you can also include them in their own voice.
I think it's a great idea for a project, albeit hard. I just lost my grandfather a month ago (we were very close) and I've thought about doing this, but last Christmas I had already made him an album of pictures of the two of us, and I think that I'll probably just journal the pre-existing pages that I had made for him.
*hugs* and healing,
El
I made an album for my mom when my grandmother passed and also one for my husband when his brother passed. I left more of my mom's blank so she could journal. For my husband's, I wrote some of the stuff in 3rd person and recapped some of the funny stories I remembered my husband telling. I wanted it to be an album our children could look at too...it was more of a celebration of life album from birth until the most recent pics we had. My suggestion, which is like a lot of others, is have family journal on paper you can use in the scrapbook and use their handwriting in the album. That way, the book is personal to everyone. They can even say, "I remember when Dad..."
It's a book you are making about your dad. I think it should be from your perspective. You can't accurately write about everyone elses feelings. It's something special coming from you. It should be in your perspective.
You seem to have a great outlook, even with such a difficult situation. Best of luck.
I'm so sorry on the loss of your father. I lost my Dad 6 years ago, and if there is anything you ever need to chat about, please don't hesitate to contact me.
I made an album to remember my Dad, and I think the LO that means a lot to me is the one titled: "I will carry you with me".
I put in this LO things about my Dad that I admired about him, and I promised to carry those things into my future. He was a very kind person, someone who looked out for people, and gave to those he felt needed a little extra encouragement. He was very kind to animals, and loved nature. Those are just a few of the things...but you get the idea, I hope. This memorial LO in his album help me feel close to him, because it reminds me he is always with me.
First of all, I am so sorry on the loss of your dad. I would recomment to write from your prospective, just tell the stories and don't forget to include the daily life. I think it will be very difficult to make, but once finished it will be an album which will be looked into over and over again.
Hey Hon, Glad you are getting caught up you crazy woman! Keeping busy is such a help for me - lets me process things slowly until I can sit & analyze - and you certainly are busy!
As for the album - why not do the album from your perspective to start? After all, it is one you will do for you, and I think personal stories from the heart sound that much more personal. You can ask for stories from others, and include those from their perspective. And if you each have a different take on one story, then you can include those, either on the same page or different pages. (or later on).
It sounds like extra work that way doesn't it? But it could be an ongoing thing - someone finds a photo and remembers a story, then you add it and send copies at a holiday, or his birthday...
The other bonus is that if they think of a story and want to add it on their own, it won't seem odd that it was done from a different perspective - all the LO's will be from a first person standpoint, even if from different people's first person.
Oh, Hey - if you choose my name, pick someone else :) Your Raks rock - but I've benefitted enough over the years!
So sorry about your loss of your father. Mine was killed by a drunk 15 year old when he was in the prime of life. I never cease missing him and all he did for me.
I,personally, prefer something like this written in the first person. It just seems so much more intimate and personal. I would want to include some tender moments, some funny ones and even some of those times when I got into trouble with my dad. Perhaps you can have each sibling and your mother contribute some of the journaling also. Do you do digital or hands on scrapbooking? Just wondering how you would make the copies for them.
I really think you should write it as though you're writing for your boys. It will still mean a great deal to your siblings and your mom and they will understand who you are writing for. Plus, it will be a treasure for the boys for many years to come.
So sorry for your loss.
Courtney