HELLO

Hi. I'm Amanda...a happy wife and mom to three awesome guys. We've lived here in Fort Collins for more than 20 years and are proud to call it home. Before moving to CO, I worked at a city attorney's office, making use of my law and Master's degrees from Duke. After settling in Fort Collins, I homeschooled my three (now grown) sons and was delighted to experience music classes, soccer, karate, swim team, archery, Science Olympiad, First Lego League, parkour, and climbing (not all at the same time!). From 2005-10, I was also a contributing editor for a national scrapbooking magazine, authoring a book and a couple of monthly columns. From 2009-10, I founded and ran the Good Grief Blog. I enjoy learning new things, spending time with my family, volunteering with The Matthews House, traveling and indoor rock climbing.

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Friday
Nov252016

Thanksgiving

Just popping in briefly...hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving! Ours definitely was. :) 

I started off the day at the gym to get in a run and some time on the rowing machine. (The gym was more crowded than I've ever seen...almost every machine was in use! Guess everyone had the same thought to burn some calories in advance.) We then had a quiet morning and played some card games. (Micah ended up in the cone of shame this time, lol.) After lunch, we all walked over to the neighborhood park to get some fresh air and play some tag and frisbee...made them all take a picture with me:

Once we were back home, Nathan and Micah started in on the rest of the food prep and we ended up with this:

YUM.

After sitting down together and taking turns talking about what we're thankful for, we all settled into a bit of a food coma and had a quiet night. :) 

And now we have plenty of leftovers and sunshine...life is good. :)

Friday
Nov182016

Four on Friday

Just a little bit of catching up on other stuff...

1. Back on Nov 9, we took a family mental health day to just spend some time together (after Noah's morning classes). We played games, like Exploding Kittens:


(We got the new expansion pack, Imploding Kittens, which came with a Cone of Shame. It was pretty awesome.) And we also walked to our neighborhood park and played some kickball...after Asher decided to pose in a tree:

(Yes, he's taken to wearing that hat out and about. Stylish, no?) We also played some family video games and watched a movie. It was a much needed day together.

2. Over the weekend, we went to watch Dr Strange in 3D (a bit of a belated birthday thing for Noah so we also had Gabe with us). Yeah, I still am not a huge fan of watching things in 3D, lol. The movie, itself, though, was fun and better than I'd been anticipating. After that, at Gabe's recommendation, we started watching Sherlock (the one with Benedict Cumberbatch)...which we're enjoying a lot.

3. On Monday, Asher and Micah attended their first Options Social. It was just a couple hour after-school thing...with a movie, snacks, games or dancing. Apparently, Micah requested (and danced) the Macarena, tried to start a Conga line numerous times and demonstrated his skills at doing "the worm." Asher, along with most of the other boys there, enjoyed watching all of that. :) 

4. My scarf challenge is going okay, but I don't think I'll be able to finish by the end of the month. The first couple weeks were just too warm. ;) Yesterday's snow (after Wednesday's 80 degree temperatures) should help for the next little bit at least. 

That's mostly what's been going on here...just trying to stay on track amid distractions. Fortunately, we have all of next week off from Noah's classes and our homeschooling...so that will be awesome! No big Thanksgiving plans here...just our usual quiet time here. Yay!

Wednesday
Nov162016

Braces (boy #2)

This morning Micah and I headed to Dr. Ebert's office and Micah got the first part of his braces:

He was happy to pose with me for a before picture when we got there, thought he looked awesomely weird with the blue stuff they "painted" on his teeth initially (it got cleaned off in short order and he was NOT a fan of the mouth expander thingee), and held Sven (my wonderful knitted silver fox scarf) for moral support toward the end...

Unlike when Asher first started, Micah got all of the top braces along with two on the bottom for the elastics...trying to help pull down the canines. This will be our first experience with bands but so far, so good. Micah's trying to see it as a way to strengthen his talking muscles, lol. Fingers crossed that things go as smoothly as they did with Asher's braces. :) 

Whew.

Sunday
Nov132016

My word for 2017

I promise this blog isn’t going to become all political. Really. But. It’s always been about what’s going on in my life and these are the things I’m thinking about right now, so that’s what I’m going to share. To that end, I’m feeling a little scattered right now…a number of thoughts competing for space. I’m just going to go with what I know and make a list, lol…(please recognize that the order of these doesn’t reflect any sort of weight…I’m just trying to get them out of my head).

(Also, please recognize that I'm not 100% endorsing any of the articles linked here. I've simply found them useful in some way in challenging or honing my own thoughts and felt them worthy of sharing.)

1. To those saying that people should stop whining and move on…on the one hand, yes, I agree. This article and this one and this one do a decent job of putting that into words (though I could do without the religious aspects or the profanity). Plus, I feel strongly that the system of government should be respected. On the other hand, I’d remind you that whining isn’t new. The losing party generally does that for the full term; it hasn’t even been a full week. You can’t seriously argue to me that the Republican party hasn’t been whining in some form or another for eight years (or that Democrats weren’t doing the same before that).

Aside from all that, though, this isn’t actually the same as other years. People aren’t bemoaning politics. They’re honest-to-goodness afraid of what a Trump presidency may mean for civil liberties. If you haven’t already seen it, check out this link. That’s just a small sample of the individual stories I’m hearing (some directly from people I know) about atrocities being committed by people who now think that this behavior has been endorsed.

This, THIS, is exactly what a number of Hillary supporters were voting against. If you haven’t already, read this plea. So far, the fact that the first response from the president-elect was a tweet calling those protesting against him “Very unfair!” is not encouraging (and one has to note that when people protested on his behalf during the campaign he was all for it). I have yet to see any sort of call for moving forward together or denouncing the hate crimes happening across the country from this man or his team. Also, read this and this.

To those who think this still might just be an over-reaction, I’ll ask whether you, personally, have had to stop and worry about your own safety. I had a conversation this week with another non-white, female friend. We both acknowledged that this week we’ve actually had to stop and think about how we would react if something like this happened to us…because it could.

2. To those who are bad-mouthing student protesters, especially, I ask you to stop. (To clarify, I am not in any way endorsing or applauding any of the violent protests in the country. I think that definitely works against the very thing people are fighting for.)

Back to my request. Before you continue in your complaints about why the schools aren’t teaching these kids better and why we’re wasting tax payer money on this when they should be in class and why they’re even bothering when they can’t vote…Have you actually read the First Amendment? Do you value your right to speak your mind here? Do you remember the Civil Rights Movement? Do you think that the laws and leadership of this country don’t affect people who can’t vote?

Yes, I’m sure there are some among the students who are simply taking advantage of the opportunity to ditch class. But. Most of them are genuinely concerned about what they see happening around them. (Sadly, many of the stories I’m seeing are coming from schools…from students who are being bullied more openly because of the color of their skin or because they’re gay. Children are sincerely afraid to go to school. Children of people I know.) They have no vote, as you’ve said. This, then, is how they’re choosing to try to make themselves heard. Actively participating in our country seems like something to be applauded and encouraged and is arguably more valuable than an hour of English class.

3. To those on my Facebook feed who continually post things asking people to share if they agree that we need to put God back in government (and variations on that theme)…I’m respectfully telling you that I will not do that. Contrary to what you seem to believe, this country was actually founded on principles to guarantee religious freedom, principles that sought to ensure a separation of church and state. The Europeans who came here were generally trying to escape religious persecution…to escape governments trying to tell them how and what they should believe. To argue now that we must put God “back” in government is to discount what they fought and suffered for and shows a willful ignorance of history.

4. To those who are trying to make sense of this all by trying to figure out who is to blame…I understand. When faced with something this big and confusing, it seems natural to want an explanation. I’ve seen many different theories. Perhaps it’s the fault of white, female voters. Relatedly, perhaps it’s actually wealthy white men going back centuries. Perhaps it’s one-sided media and false equivalency and Facebook. Perhaps it’s the neglect of all those living in rural areas. Perhaps it’s the decades of negative PR against Hillary Clinton.

Personally, I think it’s a combination of all these things along with a failing from Hillary’s campaign to adequately address some of these more straight on. Mostly, I think it’s a failure to get outside our personal “bubbles”…a failure to experience different view points and learn that the world is not black and white but, instead, is many shades of grey. To that end, here’s what I’m going to do:

I realize that 2017 hasn’t started yet but I feel compelled to announce my word of the year now. I hadn’t been actively thinking about it, but this is what’s strongly coming through as the right word. That word is PUSH. I want to push myself to expand my bubble and that of my sons. I will do that by challenging myself each week to push myself beyond my comfort zone at least once. Here are some specific ways I will try to do that:

  • I will not unfriend people on Facebook but will continue to use it as an opportunity to see more sides of each story. I will try to offer my view point where appropriate to broaden the discussion.
  • I will do my best not to avoid conflict because I assume I can't change the other person's mind. Doing so is denying them the benefit of the doubt and missing an opportunity to help them see something outside of their own bubble as well as missing the opportunity to learn something outside of my own bubble.
  • I will continue teaching my kids the value of critical thinking and questioning sources.
  • I will wear a safety pin.
  • I will do a better job of educating myself on the issues and hold the media to higher standards by not blindly following single sources.
  • I will try to start up actual conversations with people, which is asking a lot of this introvert, lol. 
  • I will work to expose my sons to more cultures.
  • I will support organizations that promote tolerance and inclusion.
  • I will volunteer. As a start, I plan to contact Habitat for Humanity tomorrow (because I've just always wanted to help there but have never taken the next step, not because I necessarily think that's a better place than anywhere else to volunteer).

I invite/challenge you to join me in pushing yourself outside of your bubble in whatever way works best for you.

Wednesday
Nov092016

We must move forward.

I wasn’t going to say more.

But. 

Last night, I had to hold my crying son and try to explain to him how such a hateful, bullying man could earn the support of so many. I had to try to convince him that this did not mean that half the country was just as hateful. I had to remind him that his great grandpa and his great-great grandparents came to this country full of hope…that they struggled and suffered and persevered so that he could be where he is now….that his great grandpa went against cultural norms to marry his white great grandma at a time when interracial marriages was not looked kindly upon (was not even legal in some areas). I had to try to convince him that that suffering and prejudice was not going to be repeated all over again.

So. I’ll make you a deal. I will do my best to think that if you voted for Trump you did so in the hopes of change…as a protest to the current system. I can respect that; and, based on what I’ve seen/heard, that’s true for many of you. Whether or not I agree with those policy sentiments and whether or not I think your hopes have any possibility of coming true is beside the point. 

In exchange, I’m asking you to realize that the reason Hillary supporters are taking this so personally is not that we’re all just die hard Democrats. A good many of us were voting against the sexism, racism, ignorance, fear-mongering, self-interest and arrogance represented by Trump. To us, a vote for Trump was a vote FOR those things. We heard a message of hate and division.

So, even though you felt you were voting on the basis of policy that was apparently worth turning a blind eye to Trump’s obvious character flaws and the message of hate he stands for, a great many of us voted on the basis that those character issues and that message was vitally important…that he is not the role model we want for our children or the person we want representing us to the world. 

We must move forward from here.

I see many posts on Facebook about what to tell our children and how we must rise past this and work together. But I also am saddened to see posts lacking compassion and rubbing in the defeat with continued mean-spirited remarks. I am choosing to reflect on what I am thankful for amid all this. 

I am thankful for the discussions this election opened up…for the willingness of people to step forward and take a stand (regardless of which stand it was)…for the reminder of the strengths and weaknesses of our constitutional democracy…for the learning opportunities this election provided…for the lesson in the importance of understanding and learning from history…for the fact that more than half the voters share at least some of my concerns and sentiments.

We must move forward from here. Please help me to do so. We must keep the discussions going.

Help me by demanding of this man that he actually be president of ALL United States citizens…help me by holding our media more accountable through paying attention to your own use of it…help me by uniting and trying to see each other’s view point rather than dividing, casting blame or gloating…help me by building a better world for my sons where people are kind, informed and open.

Let’s not give fear the upper hand. We must move forward.